2
Dude ...Back to the Basics
Posted by Opus Dei
on
3:34 PM
in
WTF
Im about to get real "bloggy" up in this piece! I encountered a total idiot today like i mean a ASSS HOLLLEE (c) Fockers type idiot today and it got me thinking about this story i read awhile back in the newpaper surfings ...So Ladies grab a seat on Young Opus's lap and fellas' grab a drink and pull up a seat its story time.
You ever had a really good thought in your head that when it was there it made perfect sense but when you decided to put this "good thought" into action it justtt didnt turn out the way ya wanted? Yea i mean its happen to the best of us ... like Brooke Hogan actually tryna have a singing career.... But this one story honestly takes the cake!
Feeling extra adventurous this couple decided to literally turn up the notch on the sex life. I guess sometimes a change in sex positions , addition of a new toy or some KY doesnt bring the magic. Not to worry this Jerkoff decides that is GF is gonna get the treat of her life.
He gets a dildo and attaches it onto the saber blade of his power tool. Presumably smiling at his brillance for having just created a hell of a sex toy for his GF. Now i dont know if youve watched any "nudies" on HBO or CineMax before if you havent imma tell you right now shame on you its basically the initiation into a young kids cable life. I say this becuz we've all seen the sex toys that move hella fast on some jack rabbit tip yes? ok cool!
So i can imagine the guy beginning is foreplay as usual before stopping and sayin "wait baby" reaching under the bed to reveal his Dewalt Sexodized . Prolly , and hopefully after some amount of coaxing she decides " Wat the Hell ...When in Rome..." all went as pleasurable until!
The obvious took place... A Blade of a Power Tool only covered by Rubber and being used with force and pressure cut through this already soft rubber. Thus Lacerating her insides , destroying any hope of making it past foreplay, or let alone any base after that and having to call 911 and explain his sexual tryst.
The moral of the story: Do i even have to tell you? Exactly ahh till next time Kiddos
